hospitalized in a secluded corridor in the middle of nowhere seems to me to be a bit much. i mean literally alone at one of your most vulnerable moments. your sick for goodness sake’! you shouldn’t be alone. your body is racked with pain as if an ocean of waves just smacked down upon your near lifeless body. and as you stretch your body to regain your strength, you stretch yourself back into existence, realizing it was most likely a dream and the yawn that follows reminds it was. Wasn’t it?
Going through painful circumstances. losing the ones you love. mourning your perceptions. giving up your fears. letting go. these are all definers. they help define us as people. and yet we shy away from them. we deny them. we tell ourselves that they are just a momentary figment of your imagination. one thing i am sure of, is that when you experience painof any kind…you begin to except that sometimes it hurts. you feel like the patient above who is alone in the middle of nowhere. and all you need is some clarity and some sense of peace to get you through. and then it doesn’t come. it just won’t budge. as much as you try to move it, it sits there as if weighed down by a higher power. as if peace itself is waiting on destiny for its release. i will be honest, i don’t like pain. anything that will cause me to question others, myself or God i usually reject. or at least try. but, i have learned i can’t. it comes and when it comes there is no doubt of its nearness.
guys likes CS Lewis have tried to figure out the enigma of pain…how did he come to want to dig into the mire of lossedness. because he lost. one thing is true, for you to earn the desire of an answer to pain you have had to earn the right to have already gone through it. pain is not an easy road, and no matter how color it, pain is never exciting. so, what do we do? do we become defeatist and stroll through life as if we have a permanent cloud befriending us as soon as we wake? do we become like little charlie’s grandparents and “stay in bed”? no. any hero or heroine went through some kind of loss, some kind of pain that became etched within….so deep within it changed them. Braveheart, Joan of Arc and even Jesus! These people all suffered loss. Through their loss they shaped their goals, to forever change history. we can be a people who lay down and die at the first look of hardship or we can let it shape us and learn from it and grow and be chiseled in our inner beings and we can choose to see that in the end (maybe not when it is happening) the end is what matters!! The end is the goal and the loss is the means to get there. pain is transforming. pain is the cocoon to our butterfly…pain is the trek to our beauty!!!! what is it for you?